In the past, I have written about great friends I have around me who will helps me no matter what, no questions asked. This morning, I read Tien’s blog about reaching out and what she said in the 1st paragraph hits me. This is what she said:
In the years ahead, many a time, I felt that I was invited for a day out only because I have a ride. Or the times when I have offered my help without being asked, and when I needed help, I could find no one. Times when I felt I have no friends I could trust, no one to listen, no one to talk to, no one to support me, no one to comfort me. No one I could truly count on. No true friend to lean on. Always taken for granted.
Now she also said something that my grandpa said to me one time, If you keep giving and giving without question, people will naturally take you for granted My grandpa once said that to me. He even give me an example, he said, give rice to your neighbor everyday of the month for no reason, then stop after 30 days. Watch how they react. At first they will be surprise, grateful and they will expect it to come every day and when you stop, they will become angry to you for stop giving them rice, even though you really have no obligation to do so from very beginning.
Among those great friends I have, I also had friend whom lately I just realize had taken me for granted. Yeah.. I could be that oblivious sometime and need a hit in the head to realize something. Well, it’s just not in my nature to think badly of people and again, I always try to give people benefit of the doubt.
There are so many incident I can recall on how she took me for granted and only call me when she need stuff but I look the other way. Until one time she somehow blurt it out to me that in her country (she’s from a neighboring country of Indonesia) Indonesian people are only worthy as a servant . Then she laugh and told me she was joking. I’m not sure I get it.
Even after that “joke” was said, I’m still be a friend to her. She hasn’t contacted me in over 1 yr, she did call few times when she need something and always said “let’s get together.” But never happen. Oh well… it reminded me of an email that been circulating on how people comes and goes into your life, they will either come for a season or forever. No matter how they come, and without we realize it they all have reason why they are in your life. It’s time for me to move on.
Sunflowerslady 
Great post! I think as we get older, we get more comfortable weeding out unworthy friends. We find our circle of friends gets smaller, but more valued. Focus on the valuable ones!
Hi Paige!! Welcome back!!! 🙂 I’m glad all is well, a bit worry about you! Thanks for the advise, yes it is time to focus on the valuable ones! Thanks for stopping by.
Sendie-Lou! Thank you for sharing your grandpa’s story. It is a simple senario but the implications are just so amazingly true in real life! I empathise with your being generous and always giving the benefit of a doubt. I was there too. Like you, I assumed everyone would treat me the same if I treat them the same. So wrong…. This “fair-weathered” friend of yours, I can’t help but think if she hailed from my country. I’d feel ashamed if that is so. What she said was simply not funny, even if she intended it to be a joke. It is very patronising in my opinion. Sendie, if she ever calls for a “get-together” again, please say NO…..
I don’t know how to say “no” that’sone of my weakness and my husband always got mad at me for this. He even made me practice one time! Crazy! 🙂 But if she does call, I will try to say NO. Thanks Tien for the inspiration and for stopping by! 🙂