Worse hairday ever!

That coukd've been me!

Having my niece stay with us this summer kinda get me going about changing my style. Who’s better than a teenager to teach you more about style? So secretly, I’ve been trying to change my hairstyle. Yes secretly. I’m not one who spends too much time on appearance so even the idea of me trying will get the biggest laugh out of my husband. Thank God I’m just naturally beautiful.. ahem! NOT! 🙂

 After 30 minutes of trying different style, using some gels, spray I can find in my bathroom closet,  I give up. I’m just not that person who can do such thing. I hardly use my hair dryer! Who am I kidding. So.. I went downstairs to find my living room in chaos and my 5 yrs old looking at me funny “what’s up with your hair Mommy?” umm…  Then Pharmacy call I need to pick up my prescription. Off I went with my 5 year old cause she’s begging to come with me.

I feel like I’m having such a bad hairday (well duh!) and it change my mood to the worse! At the pharmacy’s, my Tyra somehow in a whinny mood that day… “can I do this, can I do that, can I have this… ?” I already got a headache from all the foam and hairspray – which probably expires cause it’s just sitting my closet for years! –  and now this. I just want to pick up my meds and go home.

 At the checkout point the cashier out of the blue just said to me “Wow you look like Monica Lewinsky! Are you guys related?” Excuse me??? I look 100% Asian and no, I don’t think I look like Ms. BJ at ALL! But how can I be rude to her, here’s a cute little blonde – that should be the cue – look at me with amazement. I just shortly said “No, we’re not related.” She must’ve sense me being upset and she try to clear it by saying “oh.. sorry, I just think you look pretty.” I pay the meds and mumble thank you and left.

 I grab my child by the hand refuse to buy her another pillow pets and put her in the car…  and here’s Tyra. “Why are you upset Mommy? The lady is right, I think you’re pretty.” Oh…. My heart just melt… Thank you Tyra! “But mommy, I do think you need to lose weight.” OY! And you want to know why I’m upset??

I look NOTHING like her

Fun to be ONE

We celebrate (for the 2nd time) Kalia’s 1st birthday last Saturday at our house. Friends and family came to celebrate our baby turning one. It was an afternoon filled with fun and laughter.

Birthday girl!

Overall the party was a success. Originaly I wanted to do Disney UP theme, I get the inspiration from The Tomkat studios – such a fun blog! So, I made the cake just like in the blog and I took the freebie for the menu & bottle label from KevinandAmanda. Another fun blog I follow for years to get inspiration. I’m not creative by all mean, but it’s fun to imagine to be one! 🙂

However, I got sick just a week before the party and it kinda messed up the whole planning. I couldn’t do a lot of things I originaly planned. I didn’t even get to shop until Wednesday before the party! Crazy! But all is well, I just change the theme from UP to Balloon. 🙂

The cake!

The dessert & appetizer table are combined into one and the table just surrounded with balloon. I have lollipos (looks like balloon) and I also made rice chrispy treat using pink marshmellow and shape them like balloon- this was a hits, they went flying out from the plate faster than a lose ballon! As for the appertizer I made eggroll, spinach dip & beef in the blanket. There’s also punch for drinks.

Desert & appertizer

I keep the dinner menu in similar tone – food with a stick 🙂 so the dinner is hot dogs kabab, shish kabab & chicken satay. Oh.. I also have salad and lo mein, and don’t forget rice!! 🙂 My friend was so nice that she actually made Kophia (Hmong chicken rice noodle soup) at my house when she arrive. Too bad, in all the fun I actually forgot to take pictures for the food! But it was so yummy and all went in a flash!

Just 3 days to pull this party and I was working too. I thought I coulnd’t pulled it off but I did, not by myself. Hubby help, friends came the day before to do all the balloons, my sister in law helps me preparing all the main entree (as sticking them in the stick.. :)) and she made the salad too! Also my dear friends, oh.. my dear friend, one friend came 2 hrs before the party, the house was in such chaos still! And she came with her family, grab the sponge and start doing dishes, moping the floor & even vacuum! What a friend!

The party went on with Games, Face painting and special goodie bags. It’s trully a fun evening. I can’t wait to plan another one for Tyra’s birthday this October! I can’t thank everyone enough, for the support, the love.. for everything!!! Kalia can feel it too, she’s beaming with happiness. That’s the main thing, this party is for her, not for me and not about me. Happy Birthday Kalia!!

Face Painting

Games

Goodie Bags

Kalia having fun opening gifts

The beginning……

About a month ago just after we got back from Indonesia we went to Tyra’s school orientation. As we enter the Gymnasium there’s a huge banner on the wall writer “Welcome class of 2024” Somehow, there’s a lump on my throat and my eyes are getting warm and heavy,

Lost of words, I just sat there quietly while waiting for the orientation to start. My husband try to show me and introduce me with some of Tyra’s friend’s parents and teachers, I just shake their hands, smile and nod quietly.  Somehow I was just emotionally drained.

Finally the teachers and principal enter the podium. The first thing she said to us parents (jokingly) that “the world will not end; there is still a life after you drop of your kid at school.” Everyone was laughing. I think she meant that for a stay at home mom, because she continue with suggestion of shopping, going to the gym, pursuit hobbies etc..  

She’s then calling all students to stand at the stage and there she was, my Tyra among them. They were all looking so proud and I can’t help but shed tears at this point. If you can just see them, the future of the next generations standing there in the podium. I didn’t bring my camera with me – gosh I wish I did!

I didn’t pay much attention after that. My minds went circling back through time. When Tyra was born, her first steps, her first word … everything.

When did she grow up?? It seems only yesterday that she was born. I remember I used to watch her sleeps and just admire her beauty. The girl who comes crying to mommy with booboo and wants some comfort. It’s like she grown in a blink of an eye. Time really does slipping through my fingers.

By all mean, I wasn’t trying to stop it. How can I, by delaying her going to school? By keeping her in the bubble of home? How selfish… this is the cycle of life, this is her time.. this is part of the beginning of her time….

Yes, this is just the beginning, but that’s it. It’s the beginning of her journey. I know there will be more moment to come. All kind of thoughts just flashing through my heads…  things won’t be quite the same anymore. I say a quick prayer, that she will do well in school and life. She will be protected and surrounded by love and support.

 First day of school is approaching in just two weeks.  I hope I can contain myself better this time.

My mom used to sing me this song, and I remember she request this song as part of the song that played during my wedding… somehow it’s playing in my head the whole time.

Happy Birthday Jakarta

(From top, left to right): Jakarta Old Town, Hotel Indonesia Roundabout, Jakarta Skyline, Gelora Bung Karno Stadium, Taman Mini Indonesia Indah, Monumen Nasional, Merdeka Palace, Istiqlal Mosque

Jakarta city that never sleeps, a place where I was born and raised. Jakarta is the capital of Indonesia, my home country. Roughly 9,580,000 people live in Jakarta, including me at one point! All 10 million share a living area of roughly 681 SQ Kilometer (255 sq mi). This is according to Indonesia 2010 census bureau.

A city so unique with cultural and economical diversity.

Indonesia National Monument

 Jakarta, where you will find many – many  

exquisite, extravagant, top of the line malls and buildings and houses… and slums. My pride and my heart break.

Slums

One of the mall in Jakarta

I all those “uniqueness”, Jakarta will always hold a special place in my heart and today, Jakarta celebrates its 484 yrs birthday!

I assume the celebration PRJ – Pekan Raya Jakarta (Jakarta weekend festival) will be held. Last time I went to PRJ was 112 years go, and it was also during my husband 1st visit to Indonesia and I took him there.

Happy birthday Jakarta! Many wishes for you, and I hope to visit you again soon.

For more info, please visit this site

Patung Selamat Datang - the Welcome Monument

 

Today, tomorrow and always

 Kalia 1st birthday was actually on April 23rd, and we celebrate it with a big party in Indonesia at that time. It was a bit more hectic for me, I was on vacation, busy with tight vacation schedule, meeting family etc…  basically I don’t have time to be melancholy.

Last night (or morning) around 1 am, after I finally finish putting together a goodie bag, creating food label and stuff… I look at the birthday girl and big sister sleeping so peacefully. As always, they were holding each other.

I keep on kissing them and kissing them until finally the little one is up and mad.. 🙂

It seems like time here in Indonesia has its own life force I was astounded to realize how fast they grow, Tyra doesn’t look like a little cute toddler anymore, she’s grown to be a beautiful young girl who is very talkative, very curious about everything and very loving & caring. She always greets me at the door each afternoon with a dandelion in her hand as it’s a “fresh flower for mommy.”

Kalia, she’s 13.5 month now and as mobile as ever. She took her 1st steps few months back but didn’t really walk until 2 weeks ago. Now nothing can’t stop her. She went through everything, opening the pantry, try to get out of the doggie door and climbing up the stairs. She fell down few times but of course that doesn’t stop her. She’s growing. I can just imagine that soon she won’t be this cute little baby anymore and she’ll be a beautiful little girl, just as beautiful as her big sister and just as smart.

I am blessed … Looking at them sleeping, so beautiful, so peaceful… beautiful girls that so much like their mommy and their daddy and yet already form their own personality..

Where does times goes…  a year ago when Kalia was born feels like ages ago and 5 years ago when Tyra was born seems like an ancient history. Tomorrow is nearly here already! Today will be gone in a blink of an eye and it will be history.

So much story to tell on the girls.. on life… I kinda wish I have a blog when Tyra was born or when I was still living in Australia because I’m sure there are a lot of great fantastic stories that I’ve forgotten already.

Ah.. now I’m crying reminiscing  the oldies…  but looking forward for the future.. J as my husband always said to me on each of his notes, email or cards.. “today, tomorrow and always…”

they will always be my baby…

It’s Wednesday!!!

Hello!! This week went by super fast for me. Wednesday has crept up on me! I wake up this morning with a horror realization that it’s Wednesday!! That’s mean only 3 more days to Saturday. Now normally I’m very happy and can’t wait to see weekend, and this week is no different, but this Saturday is when we’ll be celebrating Kalia 1st birthday with friends & family here in Colorado.

Kidney infection has successfully taken me down almost all week last week. Yep, I was down sick with kidney infection, including fever and everything. Lovely! So it’s kinda throw off the whole party preparation. I can’t even do some shopping on the weekend cause I still feel a bit icky.

Party must go on and thank God for friends and sister in law. My friend will come Friday night to help me clean the house and do some decoration and my sister in law with my niece will arrive from WI also on Friday just in time to help me out. Yes..they will be helping me as well. Actually they have no idea they will be helping, see they thought they came to spend nice relaxing weekend with us and celebrate Kalia’s b-day party. Little did they know they will also do some dirty work as well. By time the figure it out it’ll be too late.. huahahaha… (evil laugh!!)

Aside from being sick and having panic attack for not having everything ready (not yet!), I’m very excited for this weekend. I prepare something special for my youngest diva and my guests… hopefully it’ll be a party they will remember. This will probably be the last party I throw in the house before we move out, that’s why I wanted something special.

Wish me luck and I will post pictures!!

Put on a happy face

“Annie” at the age of 5 yrs old already taught us to put on a happy face regardless of what inside.

That’s what I’ve been doing. I hate to be blogging about my problems and sorrow and down stuff, but this is part of me being honest to myself and to heal.

In collage, I was known as being very bubbly and easy going. I like the idea of I always be the one to go to when my friends are sad or need shoulder to cry on or someone they can trust. I guess since that time I tried to keep the same image as the go to person. I forgot I also have feelings and I also human that are not immune to sadness and hardship.

 I recently find myself in places where I’m the one who need helps and I’m the one who is sad and not happy. Yet, I keep it all inside and don’t share it with anybody. I’m afraid they will change their image about me. Girl that is always happy.

 I know I’m sad and unhappy and wanted to scream and ask for help but unable to. This stupid pride keeps on blocking the way! I turned into long hours or television watching any stupid shows I can find just to dull the pain, to block it out. I was hoping if I ignore it long enough it will eventually go away.

 Finally, I can’t just keep on ignoring it. There are these voices inside of me that keep on screaming at me calling me a loser, a coward for not speaking out. Until friends calls me out on it. Until that time I never realized how important it is to really sit with whatever it is you are feeling, whether it’s depression, anxiety, frustration, anger and self-doubt when they show up.

You can try to ignore it and hide from it but eventually, you’re going to have to face the tough stuff.

So where did it go wrong? The happy girl I once am, I have a good life, two beautiful girls, a husband, a great job and I’m very blessed with it.. where did it go wrong? Am I just that ungrateful?

 I know that part of it is just being overwhelmed with a lot life changing event that happening to me recently. I guess I just don’t deal with it as good as I should. I guess I’m just not strong enough.

There are still many questions linger, but now I know to face the demon and to talk it out. I won’t let this beat me. I will find and be that happy girl again.

And I thank my friends (again) for helping me reach that realization that I can’t do it alone and I don’t have to. The role has reverse and they will happily hold my hands during this tough and confusing time.

Today is best friend day, I quote from email a friend sent me, ‘Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.’ There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift

Also in honor of best friend day, I read a quote by Katybeth that I truly love:

 “As we grow older, more friends become best friends in different ways. There is a childhood best friend that knew you back in the days; the best friend that you raised your children with over the years; the best friend you may only talk to twice a year, but it only takes you a few moments to catch up; perhaps the best friend you gossip with at the office; or, perhaps, the sister or brother that was once a thorn in your side but grew up to be your best friend. While our list of best friends may have grown to include more people, what makes a friendship “best” is sharing our most important secrets, hopes, dreams, aspirations, and disappointments with each other throughout the day or over the years.”

To you all my blogging friend, you had helped me getting through this tough time too through your post and your comment. Thank You!

-Sendie

Weekend recap and happy Monday!!

My life here in Denver maybe a lot of things, but boring isn’t one of them. My weekend back to normal, what I mean by normal is full of birthday’s invitations and activities.

Good thing I (thought) got a step ahead of my chores and did my laundry Friday night, although it seems like a moot point because by Saturday it’s already piling up again… and don’t get me started on house cleaning… I swear to you, I think my house is cursed by never ending laundry and dishes and toys that miraculously always on the floor – no matter how good I (try to) hide them! That’s another story…

After Tyra’s weekend activities such as bible studies etc. We headed for Downtown to see the chalk painting shows. My husband is a fan and always wants to see them every year. Last weekend the weather was very nice, so it’s not too terribly hot and we got good parking too!

After a stroll in downtown, we stop by to visit the river and get out feet dip into cool river water. Kalia loving it! She can’t let go of the water melon and hold on tight while enjoying the river. So cute! I’ll post picture on different post. Big sister Tyra as always love the water and having a hard time leaving. But the sun almost set and we have another party to go to.

Hawaiian party theme ended our Saturday night bash. It was fun. Kalia have cool aid for the first time and just loving it! She got her little beach outfit all wet and sticky from all the watermelon and cool-aid I have to give her a bath at my friend’s house! We have pho for dinner. My friends made one of the best pho I have eaten. I ate a huge bowl!

Sunday is another fun/busy day. Tyra have been whining to see her best friend, little did I know her friend did the same. Her mom calls me and set up the time to meet. We went to the park nearby our house and let the kids play and play and play. They were so cute though, when they see each other they just ran and give each other a hug… oh.. melt your heart just a beauty and pure friendship. I wish they will keep this friendship even after we moved.

Then.. another birthday party! This time is a pirate birthday theme. With all those activity and emails and invitation and planning our own party for Kalia in 2 weeks, I completely missed out on the pirate theme so we are the only one who didn’t dressed up as pirate! We still have fun though… 🙂

And.. another thing I missed… we supposed to attend our first mandatory Dragon Boat practice (husband will be competing this year) and I miss reading the time. I thought it was at 4 pm turn out it was at 1pm, the same time with the pirate party. Oh well..

We got home around 5 pm ish.. and worn out from the weekend. Tyra help me make dinner we made egg lo mein and both her and Kalia eat it up! Then get ready for Another Food Network Star – my favorite shows.. 🙂  and ready for bedtime and welcoming Monday…

I’m still holding out hopes hopefully the government will realized that Two days to see people, have fun, run errands and rest is not possible and somehow  will institute a third weekend day. In the meantime… happy Monday y’all!!

All that glitter aint gold

 

 

 

I work in Financial Services industry and part of my job is getting financials from our customer and to analyze them. Quarter end or year end is one of busiest day for us. I was just talking to one of the manager here that the worst customer’s attitudes are lawyers and doctors. (No offense for you if you are lawyers and doctors). They have attitude that they are better than us regular people.

10 years working in retail financial services, I couldn’t agree with him more. I always have a hard time collecting needed document from client who is a doctors or lawyers. Lawyers always acted like they are too busy to deal with you and doctors acted like they are God or Goddess and too important to deal with you. Surprisingly they were all nice when they need the loan. Hmm.. go figures….

I understand that doctors and lawyers are smart people. Both profession requires long school years and dedicated. Is that why they acted so snobbish? Because they think they are smarter and therefore they are better than the rest of us?

My first job here in America is QC for MCI and as I listened to a phone conversation between customer and representative. 99.9% of doctors who called, they will immediately identify themselves as DOCTOR and how they waited too long in line and how MCI wasted their precious time and they should be compensated. 99% will tell you how much money they make in an hour and wanted to be compensated for wait in line to get to representative. I’m not kidding, 99% of them will do that! 

Does Doctors really need to be respected more than normal? It is a very respectable profession, don’t get me wrong, but they are no God. They human like the rest of us, and what about teacher? Why don’t/can’t we respect them more? If it wasn’t because of them, they won’t be any doctors or lawyers in the world. Is not like they just sprung out of the ground.

We have to respect each other. They are no question about that. We also have to remember that we are only play a small part in this world. We all have a role to play big or small, that role complete the whole set. We all just as equally as important as the next person. Is what I believe how God intended. In the eyes of God, no one is better than the others. When we all die, we all back to dust, regardless of who we are.

Well, not only doctors and lawyers have this attitude. I truly don’t understand when people think they are better than anybody, periods.  It’s funny but those who do achieve more and had accomplished more in life are mostly humbled. In Indonesia we have a saying or a philosophy called rice paddy philosophy. Rice paddy, when they are empty they stood tall, as they filled with rice, they head bow down…  the more we know and the more we learned, Is when we should realized that we still don’t know anything and that they are still more to learned.

Back to doctors and lawyers… I think sometimes we (regular) people to thinks too highly of them. I remember watching the new commercial for Target pharmacy, where it shows a girl and her accomplishments throughout school and how smart she is? Then she becomes one of Target Pharmacist, well friends made a comment “Well if she is that smart why she don’t just become a real doctor instead of being someone who dress like one?” Really??? They are just as important… oh well.