Will anybody miss me…

I truly does miss this blogging world, I miss reading the very informative KB’s El Morno and miss seeing another cute tea pot collection from Beth Ann, Diane’s story, what’s new with Tien and MB perspective on Hmong’s and woman’s issues and many – many more of my blogging buddies!! . Now that the turmoil in my life kinda over, I hope to be able to blog more regularly and read also comment on my blogging friend’s post more regularly.

I come across this sad news that I would like to share with you guys, it is a story of how a 3 yr old was left alone after her mom’s sudden death in New Zealand. I cry reading the story can’t help imagining how scared that little girl must’ve be!! You can read the full story here.

Luckily the uncle because suspicious after didn’t hear from the mom and contacted the neighbor and police. That’s when they find out how she has passed away and Shylah (the baby’s name) just simply told the police “Mummy won’t wake up,” tell me that doesn’t break your heart??

My husband and I, we have no relative or family here in CO, although I have shared with you many – many times, that I have great friends here but we don’t really hang out every night or everyday. I can’t help but thinking to myself, my gosh what if something like that happen to me and my husband? Will anybody miss me? My husband’s family haven’t contacted us in months! So they wouldn’t know if we drop dead or if something has going on – nor do I think they care.

It just scares me of the possibility that my child can be left alone scares. Am I just being paranoid? Probably. Can’t help it I’m a mom! J Oh… nobody told me the stress and responsibility of being a parents are so huge!!! But the perks does makes up for it and it’s totally worth it.

I better end this before I ramble more nonsense.

Apparently I’m conservative

I had lunch with one of my colleague/friend yesterday and somehow we end up talking about politics and religion. My friend is a reform Jewish and as you all know I’m a Muslim. She asked me what my religion means to me and how I feel about the negative connotation it has with the world.

As for the negative connotation, yeah, I’m pissed. Not at the world, but at the small group that caused that negative images of my religion. I hate when people call me moderate Muslim or moderate Islam. To me there’s only 1 – ONE Islam and that’s me. People often mistaken or confused some countries culture with Islam. Just because the majority population of that Country is Muslim it doesn’t mean that their culture is acceptable in Islam. Honor killing for example. It is not part of Islam teaching at all. Or the Jihad word that been misused by group of terrorist. Btw, I read the Quran from top to bottom and there are no mentions in it of the 72 virgin and pool of honey.

My religion is a big part of me, it define who I am and how I acted. I’m far from perfect, but with religion I have guidelines of what’s right and what’s wrong, what’s acceptable and what is not and the realization there will be consequences later on.

That was my answer. She seems surprised. She said I was so easy going that she would never guess that I’m actually very conservative. Now that’s a first, no one has ever thought of me as conservative and I’m always leaning towards liberal more. I guess, I’m conservative when it comes to me, does it sound selfish? Maybe. In my mind, I have my choices and my believe and what I think it’s right or wrong based on it but I’m not one that will judge people based on their choices.  We are adult with realization of the consequences of our actions. God teaches us to Love and to Forgive and that’s what I tried to do.

The same feeling I have for my parents, love, respect and fear – especially to mom, is the same feeling I have for God and more knowing he’s capable of throwing my @$$ in hell 🙂

Why do I even talk about this? Who knows, I guess the conversation with my friend yesterday still stay in my mind. Her reaction when I bluntly told her I was still a virgin until I met my husband.

As for politics, I mention I always lean towards liberal more, my friends told me liberal is gutless. I chuckle at her comment. No matter what side you are on, left or right, at the end we all have a common goal to bring better life and better place for this country.

For friends and colleges who always engage in deep heat discussion of politics, I’d like to point out of what I think is the beauty of America. The wonderful result of democracy, each election here in US is unique and different and no same party will be in powers for more than 2 terms. I can’t imagine if 1 ideology stays in powers forever. Well, yes I can, look at Iraq, look at Indonesia during Soeharto regime or North Korea. When you look at that, you will realize how we have it “perfect” here in US. God Blesses the USA.


Worse hairday ever!

That coukd've been me!

Having my niece stay with us this summer kinda get me going about changing my style. Who’s better than a teenager to teach you more about style? So secretly, I’ve been trying to change my hairstyle. Yes secretly. I’m not one who spends too much time on appearance so even the idea of me trying will get the biggest laugh out of my husband. Thank God I’m just naturally beautiful.. ahem! NOT! 🙂

 After 30 minutes of trying different style, using some gels, spray I can find in my bathroom closet,  I give up. I’m just not that person who can do such thing. I hardly use my hair dryer! Who am I kidding. So.. I went downstairs to find my living room in chaos and my 5 yrs old looking at me funny “what’s up with your hair Mommy?” umm…  Then Pharmacy call I need to pick up my prescription. Off I went with my 5 year old cause she’s begging to come with me.

I feel like I’m having such a bad hairday (well duh!) and it change my mood to the worse! At the pharmacy’s, my Tyra somehow in a whinny mood that day… “can I do this, can I do that, can I have this… ?” I already got a headache from all the foam and hairspray – which probably expires cause it’s just sitting my closet for years! –  and now this. I just want to pick up my meds and go home.

 At the checkout point the cashier out of the blue just said to me “Wow you look like Monica Lewinsky! Are you guys related?” Excuse me??? I look 100% Asian and no, I don’t think I look like Ms. BJ at ALL! But how can I be rude to her, here’s a cute little blonde – that should be the cue – look at me with amazement. I just shortly said “No, we’re not related.” She must’ve sense me being upset and she try to clear it by saying “oh.. sorry, I just think you look pretty.” I pay the meds and mumble thank you and left.

 I grab my child by the hand refuse to buy her another pillow pets and put her in the car…  and here’s Tyra. “Why are you upset Mommy? The lady is right, I think you’re pretty.” Oh…. My heart just melt… Thank you Tyra! “But mommy, I do think you need to lose weight.” OY! And you want to know why I’m upset??

I look NOTHING like her

All that glitter aint gold




I work in Financial Services industry and part of my job is getting financials from our customer and to analyze them. Quarter end or year end is one of busiest day for us. I was just talking to one of the manager here that the worst customer’s attitudes are lawyers and doctors. (No offense for you if you are lawyers and doctors). They have attitude that they are better than us regular people.

10 years working in retail financial services, I couldn’t agree with him more. I always have a hard time collecting needed document from client who is a doctors or lawyers. Lawyers always acted like they are too busy to deal with you and doctors acted like they are God or Goddess and too important to deal with you. Surprisingly they were all nice when they need the loan. Hmm.. go figures….

I understand that doctors and lawyers are smart people. Both profession requires long school years and dedicated. Is that why they acted so snobbish? Because they think they are smarter and therefore they are better than the rest of us?

My first job here in America is QC for MCI and as I listened to a phone conversation between customer and representative. 99.9% of doctors who called, they will immediately identify themselves as DOCTOR and how they waited too long in line and how MCI wasted their precious time and they should be compensated. 99% will tell you how much money they make in an hour and wanted to be compensated for wait in line to get to representative. I’m not kidding, 99% of them will do that! 

Does Doctors really need to be respected more than normal? It is a very respectable profession, don’t get me wrong, but they are no God. They human like the rest of us, and what about teacher? Why don’t/can’t we respect them more? If it wasn’t because of them, they won’t be any doctors or lawyers in the world. Is not like they just sprung out of the ground.

We have to respect each other. They are no question about that. We also have to remember that we are only play a small part in this world. We all have a role to play big or small, that role complete the whole set. We all just as equally as important as the next person. Is what I believe how God intended. In the eyes of God, no one is better than the others. When we all die, we all back to dust, regardless of who we are.

Well, not only doctors and lawyers have this attitude. I truly don’t understand when people think they are better than anybody, periods.  It’s funny but those who do achieve more and had accomplished more in life are mostly humbled. In Indonesia we have a saying or a philosophy called rice paddy philosophy. Rice paddy, when they are empty they stood tall, as they filled with rice, they head bow down…  the more we know and the more we learned, Is when we should realized that we still don’t know anything and that they are still more to learned.

Back to doctors and lawyers… I think sometimes we (regular) people to thinks too highly of them. I remember watching the new commercial for Target pharmacy, where it shows a girl and her accomplishments throughout school and how smart she is? Then she becomes one of Target Pharmacist, well friends made a comment “Well if she is that smart why she don’t just become a real doctor instead of being someone who dress like one?” Really??? They are just as important… oh well.

I will always be an immigrant

Yesterday something shocking happens to me, an incident that makes me sick to my stomach.  It literally makes me sick that I have to excuse myself from work.

I have expressed few times how I miss my family and how I wish I live closer to them. I love my family and I love my hometown. Is there’s anything’s wrong with that? It is not easy to just forget your past or where you come from. No matter how good you have it now. I do have it pretty well here. I have a great job, nice healthy family, a house, cars; I live in one of the most beautiful state in America.  I’m living the American dream – I guess that’s the term. 

For me the concept of family doesn’t just involve your child and your spouse. It’s much more than that.  I miss the sense of belonging. Belong to my parents, my sisters, brothers.. the whole big fat family I have in Indonesia.

I appreciate the life and the opportunities I have here in America and never once I said I have living here or I have America. Even as much as I miss Jakarta, the idea of just pack my bag and move is very hard. Otherwise it’s already been done a while back.  America has been my home for the past 10 years and I too love my life here.

Yesterday, a customer and I were having a nice chat and he asks how come he hasn’t seen me for a while. I share with him my vacation story. He’s then asked me if I wanted to move back home. This is what I said exactly: “I wish it was that easy, and I do want to go back home, just because of my family. My parents aren’t getting any younger and I wish to spend more time with them.”

Then out of nowhere and I did not see this coming, he said “Well, if you don’t appreciate what America gives you then you can just go home to your F-ing country. We don’t need people like you crowding the US and eat out of our hard earned money and live out of welfare.” He’s then continuing, “If you HATE America so bad then why you’re even here in the first place? You’re here just to steal our jobs take our money and go back home to whichever hole you’re belong!”

I was so shocked that I don’t know how to respond. I decided I don’t want to respond. I just told him have a good day and go back to my office where after few minutes I was literally in tears. People are comes and go to my office convince me that he’s a jerk and I should not listen to him and management will take actions…

At least he was honest on his opinion about me. I consider Denver and America as my home as well, but does Denver and America truly accept me? Or will I always be an outsider to them? Immigrant that will either live out of welfare of steals American jobs.

Even if its 1 person out of a million, it will still bothers me. Will I ever feel like I belong here? Only time will tell. Then it hit me that guy is wrong about me. I came here legally, I pay tax, I work hard, I have a degree damn it and work hard for my title and my position and I will not let people like that questioning me of who I am. I may live the American dream, but God knows I work very hard for it.

Back to reality

Coming back from vacation is always hard. Especially when you add jet lag into the equation.  Last week was officially our first week back to normal schedule. The kids are back to school and or day care.

I wasn’t ready physically or mentally. The house is still a mess! Unloading 7 large suitcases is not easy. Most of them were gift for friends & family. The stuff for friends has already been distributed but we just haven’t been able to ship out the stuff for family in WI.

We need to get the house ready for realtor so we can put it up in the market this summer. Dear God, there’s so much to do and it’s just crazy!

Taking care of 2 active kids by ourselves is also adding to the challenge of getting things ready. How I miss my mother and her helping hand! Between work, school & kids who really have times for anything else? I wish I have more time to write heck I wish I have more time to relax!

My brother in law gives me the latest version of adobe photoshop software as a gift, but I haven’t been able to play around with it. My friend was going to show me all these scrapbooking and unique things you can do with the software, I just haven’t found a time. I saw her work and was so amaze by it, I know if I have time to play with it, I can do it too but who am I kidding? She doesn’t have any children so she has way more time than me. You really have to have plenty of extra time in your hand to play with it. Unless your kids have grown or no kids, I think it’s close to impossible to have that much time.

Oh well…! Nope, not complaining… just try to figure things out one by one and to line up my priority: Kids, Work & School. The goal for this summer is to get the house ready and to move.  

Welcome back to reality Sendie-Lou!

Happy Monday all!

Day light savings

“just as the sunflowers turn their heads to catch every sunbeam, so too have we discovered a simple way to get more from the sun. Daylight savings time, also known as summer time, gives us the opportunity to enjoy sunny summer evenings by moving our clock an hour forward in.”

Love every story that has sunflowers in it. I found this cute little one from this website:  and it’s perfect for daylight savings which will happen this weekend.

Historically daylight savings comes from England and Europe; clocks are adjusted forward one hour around beginning of spring and are adjusted backward in the falls. The idea behind it just like the saying above, it’s for us to enjoy longer sunny summer days. However in this modern day, the practice has been saying to benefit retailing business more.

Me personally, it is what it is, but it can get hard sometimes to adjust your body every 6 month. Whether gaining or losing an hour, it’s still an adjustment. It is what it is. Summer is coming, so let us enjoy it and makes the best out of it!

Here’s another saying I come across on facebook: “Wisconsin friends are reminded to turn their clocks back 50 years this weekend. Everyone else can move theirs one hour forward”