Happy Mother’s day!!

 First day of winter in the US and Mother’s day in Indonesia. Yup December 22nd is Indonesian Mother’s day. I actually forgot all about it until I came home and Tyra & my husband surprise me with a “Happy Indonesian Mother’s day” wishes – yes, Tyra have to put the Indonesian word in it. 🙂

Then add to my surprise, my Mom & my Dad both sent me a very beautiful mother’s day wishes.

For my dearest daughterI

wish you patience in time of hardship, smiles when your heart is crying. Be silent when others is not. Keep on forgive, keep on loving to even those who hates, keep on giving without expecting anything back. Always be thankful for every blessing and hardship – hardship is the unknown blessing to us.

Even when I’m far away, please remember that my love and my prayers is always be with you.

I thought it was a very sweet wishes and I miss her terribly. I cry when I got it yesterday and miss her even more. I found this picture on the internet and the flower remind me of her.

So for all mother’s out there, Happy Mother’s day!!! We are so special that we can celebrate this day twice! – het at least I am! 🙂

Oh.. before I go, I want to share a picture taken this morning during our little winter storm here in Denver. I think it’s beautiful I wanted to share it with you guys.

1st day of winter 2011 storm

 

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Balance is overrated!

As summer ends, my husband and I have to make tons of adjustments. Scheduling for example, Tyra has started school back in July but we still have our niece with us to help baby sit Kalia, now she’s back to WI and Kalia need to be back at day care. Tyra will also have to go to before and after care and that brings up another adjustment, budget! Having two kids is crazy expensive!!! We have to pay $1600 just for child care alone! I don’t know how others with more than 2 kids can do it, we barely able to afford ours!

Now we all have to wake up super early I’m sure my husband beat the rooster (if we would’ve own one) waking up sleeping kids and baby are another thing I have to do, waking up Tyra is easier than Kalia, I mean, how could you wake a peacefully sleeping baby? So cute and comfy snuggle in her blanky and here’s come monster mommy waking her up? Oh.. breaks my heart every time! Good news is kalia normally wake up as soon as I’m up as if she can sense it. So I hardly have to wake her up.

 I do enjoy making and having breakfast with the family though.. even if it’s just as simple as cereal and milk. Once a while pancake or waffle is on the table, depend on my mood and how early we can get everybody ready.

The first few weeks, I got to work exhausted. Mostly mentally, thinking about what to prepare for snacks tomorrow, what the kids will wear, what’s for breakfast, what’s to cook for dinner tonight. Etc…. I drive myself crazy.

Then coming home to a messy house, the house I clean every morning and every night, it will miraculously messy again by the time I get home around 6pm. My husband is pretty helpful, he do dishes, laundry, vacuum and mop. However he and I have different concept on where toys and dirty clothes should go. It’s not on the floor!

Few weeks ago I broke down and have one of the biggest fights in our marriage life. It’s so big that it almost involve elder (it’s a Hmong thing) not that my husband believe in the elder but almost. Good friends talk to me and calm me down and we manage to get through this. I think everything just happen all of the sudden the change the adjustments we have to make and it’s all built in to the point that I can’t take it.

Finally I talked with my Mom and just cry myself out. Then, this is what my mom told me “having balance at home is over rated! There are no such things as perfect balance in life and in marriage. It’s all about give and take. The house will always be messy – you have two kids and two dogs what do you expect? – and you will always have disagreement but that’s what life is. Talk it out and work it out, that’s how you get through it.”

She said it’s okay to have a messy home once in a while, that’s mean my kids actually have fun and bring the house to live.

I always compare my life to my mom’s and have the image of a perfect marriage and perfect household should be. My mom told me to stop and remind me how even her life is not perfect. Once my mom and my dad were separated, they get back together and work it out. It hits me even my “perfect parents” have problems too.

She also remind me that she have plenty of helps back home with maid, gardener and drivers at her services.. (my dream life!) and most importantly all the family back home. She also then told me how proud she is of me and not sure if she can do the same if she was in my position. She thinks of me as a strong woman who is able to manage a family life with just me and hubby and we have as close to perfect as a life should be. That is the biggest compliments I heard from my mom! Over and over again I learned from my Mom. What will I do without her?

So last night, I let it all lose, I watch as Tyra and Kalia play together, this time instead of worrying what they will break or what they will spills, I just watch and listen. I listen as they both laugh while they were chasing each other. I watch Kalia do silly dance mimicking some TV commercial and then her laugh…

It’s beautiful and the house wasn’t all that bad. Just pick up few things this morning but I have the best night ever! As I quote my mom ‘Balance is over rated! Have fun, laugh often, build memories is more important than have your house looks like Martha Stewart Magazine.” Love you mommy!!

Tyra & Kalia being silly

Decisions.. decisions.. decisions…

We’re only in July of 2011. We’re more than half way through the year! For me it’s time to look back and reevaluated everything.

This year has been emotionally hard for me. It might sound very silly, but the realization of living far away from family just hit me hard this year. Maybe watching my dad cry as he say good bye to us at the airport few month ago, maybe the lost of my brother and uncles? Maybe now my priorities just change? I don’t know…..

I can say this that even though I live far away from family, I’m one of lucky one to be surrounded by friends who are so good to me & my little family. Most of my weekends – if not filled with invitations or celebrations – are mostly spent with them. For no special reason or occasion, just relaxing together, playing volley ball, children plays together and normally we’ll have pot luck and dinner together. And talk… we talk about everything. Giving input to each other, advice, talk about past experience, hope for the future…

Being with this awesome group of friends helps tremendously, no one can understand how crucial those weekly traditions were for me in times when I felt down hearted or homesick, especially after my last home visit. Not even my friends themselves will ever know.

At first, after coming back from Indonesia my husband and I wanted to be closer to family, but moving to Indonesia will have to wait few years. There are a lot that need to be done before we can pack up and move across the continent.  So moving to WI seems to makes more sense, that’s why we decide to sell the house. Now that we’re much closer to the big move, we’re still can’t made a concrete decision whether we wanted to stay in CO or move to WI.

There are also a “unique” history between husband and his family in WI which I’m not going to bore you with the details. Unfortunately the uniqueness is not all good just leave it as that.

My sister in law was here few weeks ago and she met all of my friends and hang out with them. We also talked to my sister in law about moving and her respond was surprising to me, she said (pretty much), “If you’re moving to be closer to the family in WI and leave that awesome group of friends, then you’re stupid. I wouldn’t do that.” Keep in mind of the “uniqueness” history between the family and us.

Forget about the adult… there’s the kids.. nieces & nephews, cousins for Tyra & Kalia. Ugh.. my heads hurt just to think about it. We are getting closer to moving time and still have a lot of things hanging over our head. This is probably the most stupid and unorganized plan I ever did in my life.

I pray more and more now… pray for guidance. I know that God will listen and will somehow help me makes clear decision.  Someone shares with me this bits of wisdom about prayer: When God say YES, then our wish has comes true, when God says NO, then He will give us something else, something musch better than what we originally wanted. If God says WAIT, then we will receive the best at the right time. God knows not to give right away but at the right time. Amien.

My travel diary: Indonesia – Pictures from Indonesia

I hope there are better words for me to describe my going home-vacation experience. I don’t know if I can ever put in the right words to explain how I feel being home, being among family. Seeing my dad & my sisters and others family member that I haven’t seen in a long time.

I can’t. There too many memories all with mixed feelings – all good – but mostly melancholy cause I miss them so much.

I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoy sharing them with you all.

As we’re approaching to land in Jakarta – finally I’m home!

 

This is the face that my baby gave me at the airport. I think she’s mad cause I “leave” her for such a long time.

 

The housing complex right by my parents house.My parents have a swimming pool so we swam almost everyday.

 

Swimming almost everyday

My parents have a papaya tree and (almost) every morning, Tyra would ask the gardener to pick her one. She didn’t like papaya that much, she just love watching him climb the tree!

Tyra & her papaya.With some of my beloved family.

 

With some of my beloved family.

 

The view from my parent’s mountain house.

 

My husband having fun at the fish pond.

 

My bedroom in Jakarta - how I miss it

 

Before flying to Medan

 

When Tyra was born, my parents got her a horse named Chloe. It’s only natural she loves horses and good at riding it.

 

Kota Tua (Old City) Jakarta

Our visit is also coinciding with Kartini Day. Kartini is woman hero for Indonesia. We went to local kindergarten and see kids dress up in variety of Indonesia local traditional outfit. I used to participate every year!

 

Swimming with grandpa - my 2 spoils brats!

 

My parents throw a 1st birthday bash for Kalia at a restaurant. We have over 200 people in attendance it was crazy. They have MC and everything. Love my parents to death!

 

Went on a safari

 

Tyra posing with picture of me when I was her age.

 

At the airport before we leaves. Good Bye – see you all soon!!!

 I hope you all enjoy the picture!! I hope I can share a bit of my love of Indonesia and my family.

Cheers, Sendie