I have been absent writing on my blog, read comment, reading my friend’s blog and comment… things took an interesting turn on my world lately. Sadly I can’t say that it took a good turn.
Found a little lump under my armpit, didn’t think much about it until I notice that it didn’t go away. I call my doctor and he scared the $h*#$ out of me and got angry for not calling him sooner and take it seriously.
At this moment I’m still waiting for a result but I’m scared. I’m so scared out of my mind with the possibility. My body can’t hide it. The anxiety took over me that I can’t function or think straight and I can’t stop being nervous that I went to the bathroom more than when I was pregnant!
It does give life a new perspective. Not meant on being corny, but if you ever heard of Tim McGraw’s song “Live like you were dying?” on how I feel is pretty similar. Okay, maybe I won’t be riding a bull named Fu Man Chu or even climbed a Rocky Mountain even though I lived right here in Colorado.
Btw, you know what freaky? I’m typing this at my work during break, and the radio is playing that particular song right now!
I’m scared as hell to be honest, I haven’t shared much of this with anybody not even my friends or family, that’s how scared I am. I decide to write it out and let it out of my chest.
I find myself remind me of my own advice on whatever it is that we’re going through, continue to cling and pray to God, because even though things may seems bad or worse in our sight God may have a much better plan that we just can’t see it yet.