Little lump

I have been absent writing on my blog, read comment, reading my friend’s blog and comment…  things took an interesting turn on my world lately. Sadly I can’t say that it took a good turn.

Found a little lump under my armpit, didn’t think much about it until I notice that it didn’t go away. I call my doctor and he scared the $h*#$ out of me and got angry for not calling him sooner and take it seriously.

At this moment I’m still waiting for a result but I’m scared. I’m so scared out of my mind with the possibility. My body can’t hide it. The anxiety took over me that I can’t function or think straight and I can’t stop being nervous that I went to the bathroom more than when I was pregnant!

It does give life a new perspective. Not meant on being corny, but if you ever heard of Tim McGraw’s song “Live like you were dying?” on how I feel is pretty similar. Okay, maybe I won’t be riding a bull named Fu Man Chu or even climbed a Rocky Mountain even though I lived right here in Colorado.

Btw, you know what freaky? I’m typing this at my work during break, and the radio is playing that particular song right now!

I’m scared as hell to be honest, I haven’t shared much of this with anybody not even my friends or family, that’s how scared I am. I decide to write it out and let it out of my chest.

I find myself remind me of my own advice on whatever it is that we’re going through, continue to cling and pray to God, because even though things may seems bad or worse in our sight God may have a much better plan that we just can’t see it yet.


5 responses

  1. Oh Sendie Lou!!! I am so sorry that you are going through this. I, too, had a scare earlier in the spring. I had a lump in my breast and they immediately scheduled a diagnostic mammogram. After that they scheduled a biopsy –had to wait 5 days as I had taken aspirin that day or they would have gotten me in sooner. As the radiologist did the procedure (and he happens to be my neighbor–how weird is that?) he told me he felt fairly good about it and that it did not present like cancer. One day later and I got the all clear call—what a relief. This is something that is unbelievably stressful and I am praying, praying, praying that your results turn out as well as mine. I know the uncertainty and waiting is horrible –but please know that you are being lifted up in prayer, my friend. And I will ask my friends to pray also…..Be strong. Hugs.

  2. I know what you’re going through is scary and you may not know what to do. Who wouldn’t feel the same way you do if they were in the same situation? But please remember that you have friends and family you can turn to. No matter what this little lump turns out to be (I’m praying for it to be nothing), please take care of yourself and surround yourself with positive support. [Virtual Hug].

  3. Sendie-Lou… I don’t know how you feel, i can only imagine the fear you must feel. I say don’t be afraid. See what the doctor says first and take things one day at a time. I pray by the time you’re talking to loved ones about it, you’d be sharing good news about how you were worried and you’re ok. I find sometimes when such traumatising things happen the best and bold thing to do is ask for God’s will to be done, because there’s only so much control you can have on the situation.
    I know we’ve never met, but my heart goes out to you and I want to be there for you as much as I can (albeit continents apart) I’ll include you in my prayers.

    Please stay strong.

  4. Oh Sendie-Lou, I am sorry to hear that. Please be strong and calm and have faith that everything will be alright! You will be in my thoughts. Please do update soon on your condition.

  5. Oh sweetie. The worst part is not knowing. Please share with trusted family and friends. Call your mom and let her worry with you (if you haven’t already). I bet it is nothing at all but until you know that for sure you need much more than virtual hugs and good need your family and best friend.

    Big hug! ♥ Please keep us posted.

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