Questions for parents

Being a parent it’s not easy. The epic responsibility of having kids is very scary. Growing up, I actually was very afraid to commit myself to have children. I have two now and couldn’t even imagine how dull my life would be without them. Yes, between the two of them I gain about 40 lbs and yes after breast feeding my breasts deflated to nothing… but that’s a very small sacrifice compare to the rewards and that’s not really what I wanted to share.

I always have a strong opinion on how important school is and early childhood education. To me early childhood education is not about learning to read and math. It is more of social skills.  I learned about SPICE when I first researching a good school & day care for Tyra, SPICE is:

  • Social – Refers mostly to the ability to form attachments, play with others, co-operation and sharing, and being able to create lasting relationships with others.
  • Physical – Development of Fine (small) and Gross (large) Motor Skills.
  • Intellectual – The process of making sense of the world around them.
  • Creative – The development of special abilities creating talents. Music, Art, Writing, Reading, and Singing are all ways for creative development to take place.
  • Emotional – Development of self-awareness, self-confidence, and coping with feelings as well as understanding them.

And did you know that did you know that by age three, a child’s brain has reached more than 85% of its adult weight? Hence, the importance of quality, early-childhood education. This is a scientific research done by Colorado Parent & Child Foundation. Also the brain will prune those things that it discerns are not being used starting at about 18 months. So, if you are neglecting a little one, the brain turns off those parts that are not getting stimulated. So, what is the best way to stimulate that tiny brain to keep growing? Play with the baby. Yep. That easy. Talk to him. Sing to her. Dance with him. Read to her. Play games with him. Take walks with her.

The reason why I thought of it today, a while back I went to Tyra’s class mate birthday party. There’s this one girl, she’s very cute but she doesn’t play nice with others.  I can tell she’s very happy and she should be it’s a party! But noticing her lack of social skills she soon acting like a brat. Sorry if I’m being blunt about this.  

It was so sad, but I also feel how the other parents felt. She runs and grabbing toys from other kids refuse to play – meaning share – with others. Meanwhile, instead of letting the child know that it’s not okay to take toys from others, the mom is just busy making excuses and apologizing.

Towards the end, she acting worse and the other parents finally speak up one mom even suggest a spanking. I don’t know these groups of people except the host so I stay quite. I feel bad for the mom though, she feels embarrassed and finally during cake the kids calm down a bit and the mom and I kinda sat next to each other. We exchange small talks and she apologize for her girl pulling Tyra’s hair (because she want Tyra bandana and Tyra refuse to give it to her) I just smile. She goes on making excuses that her baby is good kid at home but just tired from missing a nap – I don’t doubt her – but its 11 am in the morning!

 From that conversation I gather that she’s the baby – no surprise and she will be 4 yrs old and never been in school once. So the only social interaction is between her and her brother and sister at home.  Because she’s the baby she basically get everything she wants , well… she’s the baby, so her older brother and sister have to give in and the Mom – a stay at home Mom – purposely delay her school because again.. She’s the baby! Although the mom assure me that she taught the kid at home, how she can already write her name and count to 30. But what about social skills? The questions stay in my head.

I saw them again last weekend at the water fountain right by our house and she remembers me and we chatted while the kids play with water. Again, the daughter doing the same thing, grabbing things that not hers and refuse to give it back when the owner ask…. 

I don’t blame the child, I blame the mom. The child lack of social aspect in her life and she doesn’t know any better. The mom should see that her child is lack of social skills and do something about it instead of making excuses. I’m not passing judgment; I’m a parent of two young girls, so I still have a very long way to go. But in my opinion the mom could’ve done something. I’m not asking her to put the child on time out or embarrassed her, but talk to her and letting her know that it is not nice.

According to research I mention earlier by the age of 2 the brain turns off those parts of it that are not getting stimulated. So if we don’t start telling our child what’s right and what’s wrong, the child won’t know any different.

True story, my sister in law, never put her son into day care or preschool. Again, he’s the baby! By the time he has to be in kindergarten, his behavior is so bad that public school refuse him. Teachers carefully told my sister & brother in law that their son needs special attention that public school can’t give. Happy ending that he’s in private school now and doing great.

Am I wrong for taking this whole social skill seriously? Being a parents is hard, so I’m not going to lie and thinking I can do it all by myself. I need help. Teachers and school are parts of the help I need. Let me know your thought on this.

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One response

  1. Cole has attended a private school (Waldorf) since he was 18 months old. The first 4 years Joe or I went with him–it was just a few hours each morning, Waldorf education does not even introduce the alphabet until a child starts first grade. Some children do learn to read but they are solely self motivated. The early education is completely play based. Cole was never all that good at sharing but he was excellent at turn taking and waiting. I think the early years are inspired by imitating adults–Cole’s dad was lousy at sharing!
    Parents need to set limits and boundaries or they will raise insecure brats with low self esteem.
    Balance is always the key–finding balance is always the hardest part!

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