Decisions.. decisions.. decisions…

We’re only in July of 2011. We’re more than half way through the year! For me it’s time to look back and reevaluated everything.

This year has been emotionally hard for me. It might sound very silly, but the realization of living far away from family just hit me hard this year. Maybe watching my dad cry as he say good bye to us at the airport few month ago, maybe the lost of my brother and uncles? Maybe now my priorities just change? I don’t know…..

I can say this that even though I live far away from family, I’m one of lucky one to be surrounded by friends who are so good to me & my little family. Most of my weekends – if not filled with invitations or celebrations – are mostly spent with them. For no special reason or occasion, just relaxing together, playing volley ball, children plays together and normally we’ll have pot luck and dinner together. And talk… we talk about everything. Giving input to each other, advice, talk about past experience, hope for the future…

Being with this awesome group of friends helps tremendously, no one can understand how crucial those weekly traditions were for me in times when I felt down hearted or homesick, especially after my last home visit. Not even my friends themselves will ever know.

At first, after coming back from Indonesia my husband and I wanted to be closer to family, but moving to Indonesia will have to wait few years. There are a lot that need to be done before we can pack up and move across the continent.  So moving to WI seems to makes more sense, that’s why we decide to sell the house. Now that we’re much closer to the big move, we’re still can’t made a concrete decision whether we wanted to stay in CO or move to WI.

There are also a “unique” history between husband and his family in WI which I’m not going to bore you with the details. Unfortunately the uniqueness is not all good just leave it as that.

My sister in law was here few weeks ago and she met all of my friends and hang out with them. We also talked to my sister in law about moving and her respond was surprising to me, she said (pretty much), “If you’re moving to be closer to the family in WI and leave that awesome group of friends, then you’re stupid. I wouldn’t do that.” Keep in mind of the “uniqueness” history between the family and us.

Forget about the adult… there’s the kids.. nieces & nephews, cousins for Tyra & Kalia. Ugh.. my heads hurt just to think about it. We are getting closer to moving time and still have a lot of things hanging over our head. This is probably the most stupid and unorganized plan I ever did in my life.

I pray more and more now… pray for guidance. I know that God will listen and will somehow help me makes clear decision.  Someone shares with me this bits of wisdom about prayer: When God say YES, then our wish has comes true, when God says NO, then He will give us something else, something musch better than what we originally wanted. If God says WAIT, then we will receive the best at the right time. God knows not to give right away but at the right time. Amien.

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4 responses

  1. I am praying for guidance for you too!!! I know you have a lot weighing on your mind right now and it is hard, isn’t it?? But you will figure it out and make a great decision, I just know it!!!! You are such a great person and no wonder you have so many friends who love you and support you where you are at now!!! Praying for you my friend!!!

  2. I know from experience than when you decide to move the place you are living takes on a whole new life…suddenly you love everything about where you are living..right down to the gum on the sidewalk. Family can always be visited–and being closer to family is not always ideal. Kids make friends where ever they are…You daughter runs into the arms of her girlfriend in Co and will run into the arms of her cousin in Wisconsin.
    A wise friend once told me that to decide something is no big deal..if you don’t like once choice–you and always change your mind. Adult do-overs–on the other hand their is a difference between painting walls and tiling a bathroom–one is less expensive and easier to change than the other.
    Giving it all to God is a great plan but I would tell him to hurry up because all this indecision is keeping you up at night. On the other hand—I saw this on a wall in Ireland…

    As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend, I brought my broken dreams to God, because He is my friend.
    But then instead of leaving Him in peace to work alone, I hung around and tried to help with ways that were my own.
    At last I snatched them back and cried, “How could you be so slow?”
    “My child,” He said, “what could I do? You never did let go.”

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