I will always be an immigrant

Yesterday something shocking happens to me, an incident that makes me sick to my stomach.  It literally makes me sick that I have to excuse myself from work.

I have expressed few times how I miss my family and how I wish I live closer to them. I love my family and I love my hometown. Is there’s anything’s wrong with that? It is not easy to just forget your past or where you come from. No matter how good you have it now. I do have it pretty well here. I have a great job, nice healthy family, a house, cars; I live in one of the most beautiful state in America.  I’m living the American dream – I guess that’s the term. 

For me the concept of family doesn’t just involve your child and your spouse. It’s much more than that.  I miss the sense of belonging. Belong to my parents, my sisters, brothers.. the whole big fat family I have in Indonesia.

I appreciate the life and the opportunities I have here in America and never once I said I have living here or I have America. Even as much as I miss Jakarta, the idea of just pack my bag and move is very hard. Otherwise it’s already been done a while back.  America has been my home for the past 10 years and I too love my life here.

Yesterday, a customer and I were having a nice chat and he asks how come he hasn’t seen me for a while. I share with him my vacation story. He’s then asked me if I wanted to move back home. This is what I said exactly: “I wish it was that easy, and I do want to go back home, just because of my family. My parents aren’t getting any younger and I wish to spend more time with them.”

Then out of nowhere and I did not see this coming, he said “Well, if you don’t appreciate what America gives you then you can just go home to your F-ing country. We don’t need people like you crowding the US and eat out of our hard earned money and live out of welfare.” He’s then continuing, “If you HATE America so bad then why you’re even here in the first place? You’re here just to steal our jobs take our money and go back home to whichever hole you’re belong!”

I was so shocked that I don’t know how to respond. I decided I don’t want to respond. I just told him have a good day and go back to my office where after few minutes I was literally in tears. People are comes and go to my office convince me that he’s a jerk and I should not listen to him and management will take actions…

At least he was honest on his opinion about me. I consider Denver and America as my home as well, but does Denver and America truly accept me? Or will I always be an outsider to them? Immigrant that will either live out of welfare of steals American jobs.

Even if its 1 person out of a million, it will still bothers me. Will I ever feel like I belong here? Only time will tell. Then it hit me that guy is wrong about me. I came here legally, I pay tax, I work hard, I have a degree damn it and work hard for my title and my position and I will not let people like that questioning me of who I am. I may live the American dream, but God knows I work very hard for it.

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6 responses

  1. Oh this made me so sad to read!!! There are so many people who just do not have a clue how to be kind and this is such a sad example of that. If I were there I would be giving you the biggest hug ever! But since I am not I am sending one!!! Virtually. There…don’t you feel better?? There will always be jerks who mouth off about things that are so totally wrong—you are welcome here!!!! I am happy I found your blog and know that you are here in the US for a reason!!! You know in your heart that this is just one man who most likely has his own story—a sad one I am sure—and for some reason you were the recipient that day of his thoughtlessness. We are not all like that and I am sure your coworkers made sure you knew that. Keep your chin up—-you are welcome here!!! 🙂

  2. Oh WOW! It came out of nowhere! He doesn’t even know your story and here he goes putting his frustration out on you. He’s an ass. Ignore ignorant people like him.

    I have a lot to say about people like him, but I’ll save it. Ignorance can really lead to hatred. What a world we live in.

  3. Sendie – I so hate that this happened to you. I totally agree with Beth Ann’s comment and she is so right when she says not all of us are like this guy you encountered. Some folks are just ignorant or act out of anger over their own circumstances. He obviously has no clue what a warm, funny, wonderful and loving person you are…but I do! ♥ Diane

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