I manage to survive the 1st week without my children. It’s hard!!!!! It’s like the first 5 years of my marriage life. Still in honeymoon phase, having fun. I don’t have to cook every day, we can eat out, go out with friends…. But this time I feel miserable. I miss my baby smells, I miss Tyra (smart alec) questions …. I miss everything about them.
Comes to think I almost didn’t want to have any kids at all. Not that I don’t like children, I do and I want to have one, but living in Indonesia where the gap between wealth and poverty is huge I always wanted to adopt. That has always been my passion. Especially when you drive down in Jakarta Street and you see 5 year old children in the street selling news paper and snack… working when they should be having a fun and carefree childhood.
When you see children where their childhood were rob by poverty when kids can’t afford to go school and have to work first so they can’t pay tuitions – there was no free schooling back then. When you witness all these growing up, I think it’s either makes your cold (so you don’t feel anything) or makes you want to give up everything to help.
I remember my parents always do two parties for our birthday, one with the family and one at the orphanage. We bring food and gift for them. I can still remember the excitement on their face. At first I think I was only 6 yrs old. I ask my mom why are they so happy to see us, how can they bee so happy and appreciative with simple things we gave them? That’s when I learned to appreciate even the smallest thing that was given to me. That’s when I start learning never to take anything for granted.
Unfortunately, my husband is still haven’t grasp my passion on adoptions. He is just as loving and giving as a person can be, but the thought on adopting is still very foreign and strange in his mind. And I won’t force him. This is something that a couple should be able to come to a mutual decision. Bringing a child into this world – whether your own or adopting is a very big decision and even the intention is good, but without mutual commitment the result could be bad and it is not fair for the child.
Few years ago with the help of my parents I create a foundation in Indonesia to help out children. It just a small family foundation. Our intention is to help neighborhood children on their basic necessity. So far I’ve been blessed that I have family that able to support me on this and do the leg work for me. On our trip back home in 3 weeks, that will be the first time I will actually come and see the result with my own eyes. I hope I can share good news on this after I get back.