Have you heard that before? If you are a SAHM then probably not, but I heard that quite a bit. That question never bothers me until lately it’s accompany with a bunch of other questions that sound like interrogating on who’s raising my child when I was at work.
One weekend, I took Tyra to her classmate birthday party. Once we get there, I was greet with that common greeting “so you’re the mom!” I was fine with it until I sat down with some of the other mothers and started a conversation. One mom told me she used to be very ambitious and career minded until she got pregnant and have a child. She told me that she made decision to quit working because she want to raise her child. I guess that’s mean that all of us working mom doesn’t raise our child?!
Sadly, that is not the first time I heard that comment. It even came from one friend who recently become a SAHM. When will us – woman – stop torturing each other and pass judgments? Honestly, if you don’t think that comment is “innocent” comment and doesn’t mean any harm, try to imagine if you’re on the other side. To me that comment mean that working mom doesn’t raise their child. Period!
That same week I took my daughter to school and meet her teacher for the very first time. I also get the greeting “So you’re the Mom.” From her teacher, great. Thank God, she didn’t comment on anything else – she better not, she’s a working mother too! She’s then tell me a touching story about my Tyra. One day in class they have a surprise show and tell using whatever items the child can find in their backpack. Tyra always carry our family picture in her little wallet and she use it for her show and tell. This is what she said – quote from her teacher:
“This is my family. This is my Mommy and my Daddy and also my uncles and aunties and cousins. I love my family very much and I miss them very much all the time. My Mommy and my Daddy work very hard for me so I can go to school and I can have toys and books. My Mommy and my Daddy also go to school like me but for grown up. They told me so they can be smarter and better for me. I want to me like my mommy, she works and goes to school and hold me at night. My Daddy hold me too and read me story. I love them very much.”
I literally burst into tears when I hear that. I’m so glad that all of my hard work being notice, and not just by anybody but by someone that matter the most! She is the reason why both me and my husband work and go back to school. All of these hard work are for my children, not for me! Does people think I just enjoy going back to school for my Master because I like sitting in class at 8 o’clock at night where I can be at a comfort of my home? NO I don’t! Does having an MBA is for my own selfishness? NO.. if I want to be selfish, I pick different major for my own satisfaction such as oh.. I don’t know literature maybe? But that won’t get me anywhere not in my line of work, so I have to be realistic.
I may not raised my child, but I’m involved with their life and activity. My husband and I take turn taking Tyra to Piano lesson, dancing, swimming, bible school and for their regular check up and we take turn watching them when they’re sick…. They’re both have each of our influence in them. My mom told me how Tyra acted just like me but talk like her dad.. and Kalia, even though she’s too young right now, but she can tell me apart from any woman that try to hold her!
Last night I literally stay up all night with my sick baby and still have to wake up early to start my day at work, it’s been like that for 3 days now I’m like a walking zombie… I guess that’s what you have to do when you “don’t” raise your child…. Which leave me a question, “Then who on earth those woman think raised my child?” oh well…..