How you un-friend someone…

That was a question my friend ask me one day in her email. I asume on fac ebook and I was about to inform her on how you can just delete that person’s name, but comes to think of it, I’m not sure what she meant, is it on facebook, myspace or wait, is she mad at me???

Then she share with me her story. She knew this girl a while back when they use to work together in different state. They met  during office party and somehow connected but work in different department so they hardly see face to face. Most conversation were done with email. Friendship blossom but unfortunately my friend moved to Colorado. They continue communicating, with text and email, share each other daily activity, etc….

The mention friend moved to Colorado a year ago. I remember how excited my friend was at that time. Even though they live quite far (30 minutes drive one way) they manage to see each other every weekend, sometimes even more than that.

And the truth comes out….. you can start seeing someone for who they really are after getting to know them. Email and phone call is not the same with seeing that person face to face. My friend start getting annoy by her friend’s attitude and it is not helping that her 3 yr old son was bullied by her friend’s kids.

I don’t think she meant by un-friend her friend in actual sense, she just need a way to not spending time with her and keep her distance, ah… that’s the problem with us Asian, our culture somehow didn’t really tech us on how to say no….

This got me thinking of marriage too. What my friend first experience is no different than dating. Met this new person, share something in common, all is giddy… then the honeymoon period, it’s like when she and her friend finally in the same town they finally catching up face to face.. lots to talk about all is beautiful bird was singing the sun is shinning… after a while the truth will reveal itself.

I remember my mom and my dad gave me this advise when I got married. “Person will change and will grow, your husband and you will continue growing especially that you’re both still young. Make sure that your marriage is also grow with you otherwise it won’t worked out.”

So is friendship …. Then again, marriage and friendship are kinda the same… your spouse suppose to be your best friend and the foundation of good marriage is good friendship between you and your spouse.

I hope my friend will not just give up on her friend. I remind her that everybody comes to your life for a reason….

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