Just rambling away….
Few nights ago, a “surprising” turn of event happen to me, it is very unexpected at all and it trigger my anxiety. I wasn’t sleep well at all at night because my brain is running like thousands miles per hours trying to figure things out and as result, I have a bad day the next day. The physical exhaustion and emotional exhaustion as well taking toll and I break down and cry yesterday.
I feel like I’m being attack, my integrity, my decision, my faith…. Everything. A flash back to one of the worst day I had in Colorado Springs…
I’m trying to keep my promise by being positive. With much appreciation, one of my sister in law send me this email:
A strong person knows how to keep their life in order. With tears in their eyes they still manage to say “I’m OK”. God is good. Change is coming. God saw your sadness and said hard times are over.
Something I have never shared with anyone, not even my husband, until today… (keep in mind, this happened before 9/11)
Year 2000 I only been living in the US for less than a year. I remember my husband was working that day and I decided to go to the nail place just a block away. There’s a line, not too bad so I decide to wait. The nail lady – Vietnammese were talking and try to make conversation with us and all the lady at the store. She ask me where I was from, after I told her she ask me if I were a Muslim, I said yes. Then she’s started talking about Islam (her perspective) and of course all bad… I started to feel uncomfortable but I still think it’s rude to just leave (yeah here they are cruxifying me and I feel the need to be polite) all the thing she said was wrong and exagerate, but I was numbed, never been in that situation before I just went numb… I then ask if she ever had any bad experience with Muslim people or some similar experience. “No.. I never know any Muslim until I met you.” That’s what she said. “But I know they all bad, bad people, that’s what the news told me.” And she went on and on again about Islam…Again, I was sitting there complete numb and almost to tears. At the end she throw me out of the store and refuse to serve me. Not until I got home I realize what just happen and I just cry and cry and cry….
If there’s any good come out of the situation, I have a much stronger faith. I feel sorry for those who do not know the real Islam and pray to have their eyes open one day to the beauty of my faith.
Well… believe it or not Muslim are people too. We have feeling, just like everyone else we bleed, we cry we laugh….
I feel like being punished for other people actions who call themselves Muslim.
Here in America they call me Moderate Muslim or moderate Islam. I hate that. That make it sound like the radical terrorist who call themselves Islam is acceptable.
There’s only one Islam who worship God, practice the five pillars (none of those include suicide bombing bt the way) it is Shahada (believe in Allah & Muhhamad), pray, fasting, charity & Pilgrim to Mecca if you can afford it. That is Islam.
However, if I have to be honest, I prefer that Vietnamese lady anytime compare to some people that pretend to be nice and acceptable but just wait for the moment to stab you in the back. At least she’s honest.