I actually copy and paste this article from one website I always read: http://www.islamreligion.com
One thing I disagree with Asian (Indonesian) “culture” – (it’s not really a culture per say..) is gossiping. Seems harmless, people get together and talk, but sometimes in the heat of the moment the conversation lead to something other than harmless talk. Story were made up for whatever reason and before you know it, some other person could get hurt.
Just recently I was helping a friend doing something, however, the result is not how we expected to be. Not defending myself, but in this case it was not entirely my fault, my friend gave me the wrong information and therefore the result is wrong. I communicate this with her right away and we got it fixed after about 1 week. Granted it delay things… what hurt me the most, then she talk to other people as if I was so incompetent and so irrisponsible.. before I was busy defending myself to others friends so they won’t view me as a bad person, but now I’m tired of it. She claims she never said anything to others and how she’s very grateful for my helps… a lie.. see once you lie you will have to come up with another lie to make it up.
I believe, what goes around comes around. I have nothing but good intention and I do feel bad that the outcome is not how we expected, all I can do is try… only God knows the truth and it’s all that matters.
Quote from the article:
Lying is a common part of human relationships. People lie for a variety of reasons. They may lie as part of self-presentation, in order to present a more favorable image to others. People may also lie in order to minimize conflict, because lying may make disagreements less obvious. Although lying may serve useful functions in these respects, it can also be damaging to relationships. An exposed lie undermines trust and sows suspicion, because a person who has been lied to is likely to mistrust the person who lied in the future.
Some people even lie due to habit at first impulse. ‘Everyday lies are really part of the fabric of social life,’ says Bella DePaulo, a psychologist and lying expert at the University of Virginia. Her research shows both men and women lie in approximately a fifth of their social exchanges lasting 10 or more minutes; over the course of a week they deceive about 30 percent of those with whom they interact one-on-one. Furthermore, some types of relationships, such as those between parents and teens, are virtual magnets for deception. Lying is considered integral to many occupations: we see lawyers constructing far-fetched theories on behalf of their clients or reporters misrepresenting themselves in order to gain access to good stories.
Lying is a despicable vice, rampant in our societies. Deceiving others with the canny use of words is seen as clever. Public figures lie. Governments lie. One of the distinctions of our age is that lying no longer carries the stigma it once did. Today lying has become institutionalized. It is the way many of us live now, right from the top, because we figured out that if we are persuasive enough, lying works. Countries are invaded and wars are started based on lies. “We” never lie, we just bend the truth a little, put a spin, having no intention to mislead, but the “others” are liars. Ours is a society that has perfected the “art” of lying. Gone are the days when a lie destroyed the liar’s dignity and deprived him of our trust. Lying leads to deviance and deviance leads to the Fire.. as described by the Prophet Muhammad, “If anyone has four characteristics, he is a pure hypocrite, and if anyone has one of them, he has an aspect of hypocrisy until he gives it up: whenever he is trusted, he betrays his trust; whenever he speaks, he lies; when he makes an agreement, he breaks it; and when he quarrels, he deviates from the truth by speaking falsely.”
Islam views lying as a serious vice. God says in the Quran:
“And do not say that of which you have no knowledge.” (Quran 17:36)